Personality

Sometimes I feel so heavyhearted but I can't explain, cuz I'm so guarded. But that's a lonely road to travel, and a heavy load to bear. And it's a long, long way to heaven, but I gotta get there. Can you send an angel to guide me? - Alicia Keys "Prelude to a Kiss"

That's my prayer now. I need guidance.

The things I love and hate are wrapped in one package. They essentially come together. It's almost like when the smell of paint gives you a headache, but you love how the walls look when they're finished. But at least you have some hope because eventually the paint dries and the smell goes away. But what if everyday, you had to open a new can of paint and add a new coat to the wall? Would you get used to the smell? Would you try a different color? Do you quit doing what you love to avoid the toxins you're exposed to?

That's why I need guidance. I have a lot of questions. On a daily basis, I'm reminded of my purpose. On a daily basis, I'm fighting an uphill battle.

I just want to do something drastic that might just shake me out of this.